Original Eldest Nephew

When I was visiting EN last week she remarked that she wished that OEN was still with us so that she could show her son to him. I replied that he would have loved to meet him - he was always really good with kids.

In June 2001, OEN, his best friend from school, Hairy Nephew (EN’s brother) and his girl friend Irish Lass were over in Germany for a short break to take in a track day at the Nurburgring on their respective sports motorcycles.

Back in the UK it was a Monday so I was in the office doing typical DBA things, enjoying myself jesting with my favourite co-workers and settling into my working week, when the phone on my desk rang.

It was HN, and immediately my spider senses started tingling (HN was notorious in the family for his “phone phobia”) - I could hear the emotion in his voice as he said ”There is no easy way to tell you this obi-wan, there has been an accident and OEN has been killed”. I replied with something along the lines of “Is there anything that you need me to do?” and was told “not at the moment” - so we ended it there with me asking him to ring me when they got back over here.

Picked up my tobacco and papers and went outside for an extended smoke break and a walk around the car park. So I had to deal with the fact that OEN had gone from our lives forever, went back in and sleep walked through my duties for the rest of the day - did not tell anyone at work what had happened.

Went home that night, had something to eat and then drank a bottle of wine and had a couple of drams of a good single malt in his memory as I tried to assimilate this news. I remembered seeing him for the first time one cold January afternoon 35 years earlier with his father holding him up to a hospital window for me and little bro’ to view.

Memories of all the times we had done crazy things together, argued about stupid stuff, concerts we had attended, places we had visited etc etc.

Got into work early the next day and when my manager showed up I explained the situation and that at some currently unknown point in the near future I would need to disappear for a few days. He completely understood and told me that it was fine by him.

The depleted crew returned at the end of the week when I joined them for a painful night of memories and got the full details of what had happened on Monday.Our only consolation was that he dies while doing something that he really loved.

Towards the end of the next week I flew into Inverness for the funeral arriving there a couple of days early. Cannot remember much of what went on in the church but was impressed with the number of his friends and colleagues who made the 1100 mile round trip for the funeral - a couple even came across from Dublin.

So that night in a rented cottage on a hill overlooking the town a small group of us held a wake in his honour, we all got shit faced together and swapped stories long into the morning. All of us were in agreement that this was the way that OEN would like to have been remembered,

It is far easier to handle the death of an elderly relative or friend as the life in question has run it’s natural course, however when a young life is cut short it feels like much more of an injustice - the universe delivering a really hard kick in the groin.

He is gone from our lives but as long as we retain our memories of him he will never, ever be forgotten.